26 July, 2014

Godzilla 2014: Thoughts

First, what I didn't like:

Mutos were ridiculously weak but eh that was part of the setting, they're parasites and Godzilla's a god. Hopefully there's better stuff in the inevitable sequel (after all, if that shitfest that was Pacific Rim got one...)

The music was absolute shit. Not a single tune stood out to me. Would it have been to much to license Godzilla's theme?

And the fucking sound, ugh, those fucking inception horns, fuck those inception horns.  Why the fuck do giant monsters make inception horn and Transformers noises?

I liked how they never once actually said Godzilla and stuck with Gojira all the way

LOL WUT JANJIRA JAPAN

Joe filled the role of the original Serizawa so Watanabe's character was totally fucking pointless. They should've named him something else.

 Why the fuck is Godzilla's atomic breath now fucking FIRE? Where's the lightning? The Patlabor Godzilla parody I watched last week had the underwater lightning. THAT'S Godzilla, all those sparks and shit going off underwater, and lightning on his fins when he's charging. WHY IS HE BREATHING FUCKING FIRE?

I loved the roar though.

The finisher- WHAT IS THIS MORTAL KOMBAT BULLSHIT? Just breathing down its mouth would have been enough. Godzilla did that to Biollante and that thing in 2000.  But the head was just way too much. It's fucking comical and out of place.

ALL THAT BEING SAID THOUGH.

 All in all? Too much stupid yank stumbling around like an idiot, but otherwise a great movie. In fact despite all this it's still one of the better Godzilla movies (Mostly because most Godzilla movies are honestly pretty shitty, but still.)

Also the film was more Heisei Gamera than Godzilla. They just basically replaced Gamera and Gyaos with Godzilla and Mutos and called it a day. The movie was seriously the exact same thing only with additional annoying melodrama and with a yank stumbling around like an idiot. And you know what? I loved it. In fact this was what I was actually asking for. I've been going "why can't they just make a Godzilla movie like the Heisei Gamera ones" and then BAM, this.

It's magnificent.

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