Last night on IRC

<Me> If you say no I am morally obliged to brand you a smelly little American.
<Me> An American who goes by the name of yankee doodle dandy.
<Me> And plays American football which is not played with feet.
<Vel> American "football" is played with your hands, and the "ball" is shaped like an egg. Therefore, it is American Handegg.
<Me> What the man said.